So since I am here I can't post pictures but I can give you an update. The boys are gaining weight! Praise God!! Max is now 3 lbs 2 oz and Luke is 2 lbs 4 oz! I was so happy to see that Luke is actually putting some weight on. They are both doing well with their feedings still. The goal is to try breast milk with Max this week. Pray that he takes it well. I just really hope he doesn't react to it again because if he does I won't be able to breastfeed him in the future.
Other exciting news... Caleb and I were able to hold the boys at the same time last night. They moved two recliners together and I held Luke and Caleb held Max. We got some new family photos that look a little more official! It was fun to just all be together. I had a hard time towards the end though, because I just really long to hold them together. For me to hold them both at the same time. I have been dreaming to see them react to each other and reunite them! Their nurse heard me crying and asked what was wrong. I just told her that I was frustrated that this whole situation is so unnatural and that I long for them to be together. Then I had to run out to pump.
I went back in to say goodnight to the boys and their nurse told me she had a surprise for me. She handed me a card and I opened it up and it had pictures of the boys together... hugging each other. Just wearing their diapers. I was elated, sad, and furious at the same time. I just started bawling and didn't say anything to them about being hurt and said I was so happy to see the pictures. I walked out of the NICU and just sobbed. I am just frustrated that I keep missing so many firsts. I missed Max's first bath and seeing the boys together for the first time. I know that the nurses were being so sweet and were doing it for me, but I had just longed since I gave birth to them to see them when they were reunited for the first time.
Anyways, I get to hold them together today, and kangaroo with them. That will be great and I am really excited! I am probably just dealing with some mom hormones!! haha :) It didn't help that I was crying right before all of that just because I was longing to hold them together and see them interact and then the next minute I walk in and find out that it JUST happened without me!
I have some amazingly sweet photos to share that I will post when I get home tonight. They are just precious. One picture Luke has his arm around Max and Max is punching Luke in the face. Then the next picture it's totally opposite! I can't wait to see them interact today. Being here is so great and I love that I can, throughout the day, go peek on them and hold them and talk to them. This morning the nurse had just put a new pair of jammies on Max and she combed his hair. His hair is so cute and long and curly enough to give him a little curl on the top of his head. Don't worry Daddy... it's a very handsome masculine curl! ;) I just Praise God eveyday for my little miracles. They bring me so much joy! I will post some pics soon!
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Talk about mom hormones! I just cried through your whole blog post today! :) So glad to hear that the boys are doing great! Like you've said so many times before that it's a roller coaster, but it's got to be such a great rush when they are doing well! I'll be praying for Luke to start packing on the ounces and hopefully soon the pounds! Praying for Max too as they start him back on the breast milk! I'm sure he knows that mommy's milk is that best! Praying and rejoicing with you in the fact that you get to hold your boys together for the first time! That is so awesome! I can't wait to see the pictures of them together! Love you Ash! Give those boys a hug from me too!
ReplyDeleteAmber
Ashley,
ReplyDeleteWow! Just got off the phone with your mom. I wasn't aware that you guys were pregnant! Congratulations!!!! I am praying for you and your babies! I know you have a strong faith. You are a strong young woman with a married to a great husband and father. The two of you will provide strength for each other to get through your sons first few months. Be strong in the Lord and be of good courage. Your help comes in the name of the Lord. Fill your ipod with the best Christian music and let it fill you will hope and courage daily! Love to you and your new family. Margie