Wednesday

I ended up witnessing the eye exams. Not fun! I went back in to nurse Max at 5:00 and it happened to be just the wrong time. The doctor was doing the exam to Max at that moment. You want to talk about some screams! Way worse than shots even. Horrible. The verdict was that Max's eyes are still stage 0, which is all clear. Luke's right eye is all clear and his left is still at stage 1. Which is good and exciting! Still just praying that the left eye regresses on its own.

They both have bottled well today and we had bath time tonight. Sorry I don't have many pictures, but when I am here by myself it is difficult to get pictures since I am so busy handling them. We have started the crazy feeding cycle. Can't wait to get these boys home though! I just am so looking forward to having our own space, our own schedule (or lack there of) and our own smells, sounds, and NORMAL! It will be so nice to just relax and be with them in our own environment!

I was watching 19 Kids & Counting today while I was pumping and it really was so hard for me to watch. If any of you watch that show you know that they had a 25 weeker too and all of the struggles they are facing are so paralleled to ours. It is just really hard to watch when I am still in the midst of all of this. By far the hardest thing I have gone through, probably an obvious statement. This whole THING, whatever it is, just seems so different than other challenges I've faced. This isn't about me, who cares what really happens to me, it's about two little boys, someday to be teenagers, someday to be adults, and I am responsible for their well being! Yikes! I had discharge training today with the physical therapist, whom I love! But it is just another reminder of what we have gone through and what lies ahead. Sometimes because the boys are doing well, or better now, it is easy for me to think... oh, we're out of the woods! But the reality is we won't be for a long time. Our boys were born soooo early, and are considered as premature as possible. Not much can be done for babies born earlier than 25 weeks. So because of that they have had to overcome some severely difficult obstacles to make it where they are and they are not done. Just the fact that they were shorted 3 months worth of mother-given antibodies inutero and now have such a susceptibility to illness and disease. And they will daily struggle to overcome developmental delays and other cognitive hurdles. I think it is just hard because even 10 years ago a preemie was born and parents would just wait it out to see what happens. But now, there has been enough research done and techniques discovered, that a preemie could have a good chance of deveoloping correctly. The only thing is that it takes a lot of effort to ensure that as a possibility. So, I am overwhelmed with information adn I just pray that God can help me apply it all! But, what I keep falling back on... WE HAVE A BIG GOD! All things are possible through Christ! Amen!

Other than that things are still good and the same. Nothing more new. I will post soon! (hopefully with news of coming home!)